I want to go now as far as i can

you know what im thinking now..

i want to go now as far as i can
i have a plan before to continue my study for master degree to US or country in europe, maybe this thing can be my strongest reason to live without any doubt from people,

OMG i love my mom, i wanna be with her..
my dad too,

but i feel its better if i live a way way far away from all of these things in my life...

i feel fucked up i swear...

i swore about that cheap person girl

LOL anyway
i swore so many times, that bitch wont be with me in the rest of my life.

i just playing with her now, no big deal, no plan, nothing for that bitch, i swear!

Cheap Person Girl

today i feel like its all enough..
i have nothing left in my heart to her. the one that i love the most before, the one that i felt that she's cute she's a kind person she's a good heart, she has a plain heart and character.
but damn she's a totally bitch!
i mean why she can be next to other boy in front of me like she want me jealous.

i dont know sometimes i believe it but sometimes i cant believe and sometimes she make my faith back.

sometimes i can say like what i say above sometime i can be happy with her..

 i doubt her virginity LOL i know i shouldnt write it but its my heart, its like i dont know who ill talk about this with.

this person is a bitchhhhhh!!!!!!!! fuckkkk!!!

oh no im depressed with this bitch..

i feel like i cant be listen to Jay Z song "i have 99 problems but a bitch aint one" no more

shes materialistic, gold digger maybe..

i think she just want my money at all..haha fuck it  i cant believe it.

i remember back the girl that i want the most, she is i dont know i forgot about her hahahhaha but i know her.

yoooo!!!! fuck !!
my life is fucked up!!!!!!

i will post her picture someday, shes a bitch!! cheap person girl, not loyal!

Life is so Rude to ME, I Have to Fight

It was the time i feel so fucked up in my life i said "Life's so rude to me, so cruel to me, i have to fight!". Yes, as hard as i can!
I felt messed up in every aspect of my life.
Nothing, i just felt the feedback i got of everything good i did everything like hell..

I am on My Way

I have often dreamed
Of a far-off place
Where a great warm welcome
Will be waiting for me
Where the crowds will cheer
When they see my face
And a voice keeps saying
This is where I'm meant to be
I will find my way
I can go the distance
I'll be there someday
If I can be strong
I know ev'ry mile
Will be worth my while
I would go most anywhere
to feel like I belong

I am on my way
I can go the distance
I don't care how far
Somehow I'll be strong
I know ev'ry mile
Will be worth my while
I would go most anywhere
to find where I belong

Legends Are Born in August

Hi guys! it's cool to be here writing about my life jouney..

About 5 days ago was my birthday, it was a great day.. so a litle dreamer was born 24 years ago, named Augustine Marshall Ebhenheizer Fery Perdamaian Sinaga, now Feryaman Sinaga but better known as Fery Sinaga. haha its weird aint it? my parent changed my name to be more simpler because a javanese mystical belief, my name was too long the said i was often suffering cus of it.

Yes i'm a bataknese but my life is so close with javanese life & culture, when i was a litle boy i had my Mbah/Eyang (grandparent in javanese) take care of me daily because my Bapak & Mamak (its how we call daddy & Mommy in bataknese) were too busy getting money for my future, haha thanks my heroes!

August, hmmmm.. anyway i have one of my favorit singer with name August Alsina, you have to check his songs! His singing style is cool!
Back to the August, i have always amazing things  happened in august. Including my country independence day also in August, just 2 days after my birthday. My Dad always said, when he see the red & white flag (Indonesian Flag) start waving in every neighbour's front yard (it's a symbol from us Indonesian to prepare our independence day) then he start to remember me. "Oh my first born son birthday soon.." in his mind. Couple days before my birthday in august i saw a pic on instagram said "Legends are born in August", oh ok now i know it. Maybe this is why i am a person that really-really want to be an amazing person with amazing impact for the world at least around me i always believe that i'm born not to be average. I want to be a blessing to many people. I am the type of person that really ambitious, and sometimes it makes me tired myself. I'm the type of person if you put me at the entrance of the forest alone, i won't go back and run from the forest because of fear, but i'm the one that curious who will be go deeper into the forest and try to find something from there and get to know what's in there in the forest.  But i don't know why, it's so natural i can't shut it down.
All of these things happen to me make me believe the phrase "Legends are born in August", i think one of them is me. haha.. But really, do you know Caesar August of Rome??? He is one of the sample to proof the phrase.

Ok, back at me myself, i really thank God, Holy Mother Mary, holy spirit, St. Augustine my guardian angel and all of the holy saints for the thankable & full of happiness life. Thanks for the blessings, amazing family, great friends and all things in my life.
August always amazing!